After putting that badboy down it was off to a few solid hours of Berenstain Bears. I cannot stress enough how happy I am about (still) owning so many of these books. Have better books been written? Probably. But I sure as shit haven't read any of them. And I definitely don't plan to. BB shall forever remain my literary pinnacle.
"This way, Scouts!"
Brother Bear said.
"Let's go while Papa
is still in bed!
Let's blaze a trail
through the wood,
by ourselves,
the way Scouts should!"
But Papa was not
still in bed.
He was waiting for them
up ahead...
"This way, Scouts!
Let's blaze that trail!
With me along
you cannot fail!"
"Wait", said Brother
"for Scout Leader Jane.
Look! Here she comes now
in her plane.
She's going to watch us
from the air!"
She wasn't too pleased
to see Papa Bear.
"What you Scouts need
is a guide like me!
I'll get you those badges!
Come! You'll see!"
"This way, Scouts!
That way is wrong.
That twisty way
will take too long!"
"But, Papa! The guidebook says:
'When blazing a trail
through swamp or bog,
NEVER step on a sunken log!..."
"And that log," said Sister,
"is a crocodile!"
Pa blazed that trail
Papa Bear style!
Brilliance. An opus.
After a good thirty (no joke) of Stan and Jan's finest, I took a peruse at my The Best Amazing Question & Answer Book. There is a definite target age group regression here. But. Do you know the wettest place on earth is Kauai, Hawaii? Or Mount Izaru, Costa Rica is the only place in the world you can see both the Pacific and Atlantic Oceans? How about Lake Huron having an island (Manitoulin) that has its very own lake spanning 41 square miles? A-lake-within-a-lake. Even has a few of its own islands. Or the intriguing fact that birds cannot move their eyes? There was a point in my life I knew these things, apparently.
In all seriousness, read Oryx and Crake if ever you have a few hours to kill. It may just be personally reminiscent, but it is seemingly a very worthwhile read.
